So, what happened was... something that rhymes with spleen duke. It's always a looming threat.

Despite this, I've managed to stay completely in the dark as to what happened, so while we will never get those hours back, let's just pretend none of this ever happened and you're enjoying this recap at the same time you always have.

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The recording of the aftershow failed to appear on my recording apparatus. As a a result, your normally scheduled recap will be delayed by a few hours until it can be acquired and absorbed for recapurature. Apologies to the four of you who were counting on it. The comments section is yours to spoil to your heart's content.

Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: A bunch of scheming for nothing led us to believe Edna might survive another three days, but it was all a ruse. Now there are only five, time for the hand to start biting the hand that feeds it; itself!

We are nearing the end here. This is the last Thursday of the year you'll be reading this. Maybe you'll come back and read sporadically, and it won't be on a Thursday, but I must warn you; the tumbleweeds are ravenous when I stop spraying them with herbicides in the off-season.

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Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR; Brandon spills the beans all effin' over the place. Beans here, beans there. Bean there, done that. As I think of words to describe Brandon, I can't help but think of the words of Hank Hill, "That boy ain't right."

I had to watch live network television this week because my local Hand Egg squadron played a live event last Monday, but it afforded me the opportunity of seeing the promos for this week's episode, where they announced that Brandon's dad shows up. That either means there's been a severe breach of Survivor protocol, or this is the Relatives Episode. Get your tissues ready, boys. When ya comin' home son, I don't know when. Momma, I'm comin' home. MASH 'EM UP!

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Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: Honest, I forget. All I can remember is that everyone hates Cochran, except Coach, who has him believing he's the strongest man on the island. Is there some natural hallucinogen that grows out there?

Every week the blog thingy (technical term) asks me what league I'm writing about so it can look for player names to auto-link to a handy-dandy stats page. Secretly, I've been writing about the NBA. I was the only one on SBNation doing it (that I know of, I didn't bother to verify this). Since everyone (presumably) is writing their NBA stories again, I have to move to FIFA World Cup because it's not for like two years. I hope I don't accidentally type Ronaldo.

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Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: You're about to see it all again! Nineteen new scenes that were previously only on the cutting room floor! 

Happy Thanksgiving, America! Apparently CBS thought it was cool to serve us leftovers on Thanksgiving Eve. If you want to eat something really Uncommon today, make this aluminum skeleton turkey. Take pictures. Share.

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