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The art of the text commentary



Sometimes you can't make it to a sporting event, sometimes there are stupid restrictive broadcast issues so you can't watch it on TV, sometimes your cable doesn't have the right channel, sometimes you are actually meant to be working.

What do you do?

Star-divide

If it's time for the Ashes Cricket series then you turn to the BBC for their live text commentary.

Opening day of the Ashes

The beauty here is that nothing much really happens and you have to fill in time with funny comments, strange observations of the crowd and well basically anything you can think of. Sprinkle liberally with made up cricket words like googly, nurdle, silly mid off add in breaks for lunch and tea and what you have is sometime the most entertaining read on the internet.

What other sports go on for hours with very little happening?

How about some Tour de France

I would also have mentioned tennis, but Wimbledon is done for now.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Uncommon Sportsman community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Uncommon Sportsman managers or SB Nation.

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Nice!
Strangled lbw appeal against Prior, but there was plenty of wood on that, and it’s time for drinks.

I’m still really no closer to understanding cricket, either.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Jul 8, 2009 12:37 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Another gem
No sign of KP’s limp since tea, looks like it’s been rubbed free up in the dressing room. Touch of inswing from Siddle and KP tucks him round the corner for one. Chancy drive from Collingwood, the ball slicing past imaginary fourth slip and away for four. Ponting adopts the expression I imagine Gordon Brown adopts when he’s told he’s got Hazel Blears on the blower.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Jul 8, 2009 12:55 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I don't know what this means either
It’s a masterclass at the moment, and Ponting is wearing the expression of a man who has just unwrapped a toaster on Christmas morning.

But it’s great

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Jul 8, 2009 1:03 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Gentlemen, please!
Last over of the day… short ball outside off, and Anderson looks to thrash Johnson through the covers, but doesn’t quite get it.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Jul 8, 2009 1:46 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Glad you enjoyed it. Some of the best bits are text messages sent in by listeners.

Blame my wife!
Waiting until August!

by sir eccles on Jul 8, 2009 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

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