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Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: You're about to see it all again! Nineteen new scenes that were previously only on the cutting room floor!
Happy Thanksgiving, America! Apparently CBS thought it was cool to serve us leftovers on Thanksgiving Eve. If you want to eat something really Uncommon today, make this aluminum skeleton turkey. Take pictures. Share.
If you watched this, pat yourself on the back. I watched it really fast. Here are my notes:
- Mormon Dawn doesn't want to reveal the secret of her underwear, no surprise.
- Cochran says he's waiting for his inner caveman to come out. Were there nerds back then? Also, why is he gently caressing the fish? I'm not eating that.
- Coach knows he sucks.
- Brandon and Coach's scene sucks. Cut it again.
- Brandon is spearfishing feeder fish in two feet of water.
- Papa Bear tells Cochran that talking to women isn't much different from talking to a guy. Because he knows?
- Cochran doesn't seem to mind being patronized during his seduction test. I guess it's better than being told he's scum.
- Why did they show us the pig scene again? No, really, why?
- I'm glad Mikayla got two teaspoons of sugar, Coach is an ass.
- Everyone loves a story where you sh_t your pants.
- Look! It's Rick! And he's saying things! Timestamp this.
- Cochran had to sleep in the bunk with the love birds. I swear I've seen this in a movie.
- Coach's outrage that people are sleeping together next to Cochran. He loves himself.
- Cochran should get like six teaspoons of cream and sugar with his coffee. Maybe ten.
- Coach seducing Cochran should be the lesson. Ladies, when a man says you're like Hercules; dial 911, running will only make the roofy circulate into your bloodstream faster.
- And, of course Coach would be Zeus. You knew he wasn't going to stay consistent with Greek and Roman names.
- It's just not Survivor unless someone releases a chicken. It's a different kind of Survivor when the same person harnesses their murderous rage caused by the loss of one chicken to annihilate the other chicken. Murderer, you guys.
- Jim: prayer zinger. Why was that cut?