Heavens to Betsy it's Christmas Eve! What?! You haven't gotten a gift for that Uncommon Sportsman in your life? Aren't you lucky I compiled this list of gift ideas? While it's too late to actually purchase these in time, if you wish hard enough, maybe tonight a portly man in a velvet suit will commit a B'n'E on your place of residence to hide stolen merchandise, and you will find what you wished for.
First up, the Absolute Standard 3-W Fencing Mask.
I have two of these. One for the bedroom, and one to just wear around the house.
I always wanted to say, "hit the jump" in a post, so do it to see the full list.
Next, the Play and Freeze Ice Cream Maker
You put in ice-cream ingredients, ice, and rock salt, and go play whatever ball sports you can think of. This thing looks ripe for some dodge ball, goal ball, or Butts Up. In half an hour, you'll be icing your wounds with freshly made hampster-ball ice-cream.
For when dragging your own mass is not enough, there's the World Sport 48" Speed Training Parachute
This thing helps you slow your roll while you pretend to fly a kite. Dignity insurance is not available for this product.
Have you ever wanted to eat Gatorade? Stuff your stocking with Jelly Belly Sports Beans.
These things do whatever sports drinks do, but in bean form. I can't wait to see professional athletes showering themselves with jelly beans.
Start a new sport with the Innova Disc Golf Starter Set:
Disc golf doesn't care if it's raining or snowing, a true year-round sport. These discs are very sturdy and highly plastic.
And last, but certainly not least, Reebok Fleece Sweatpants.
I know, you have a drawer full already, and the ones you're wearing are on a 2-day mission, but these are going to replace that pair. You know the one. These are available up to 6XL, but these go up to 8XL.
Enjoy the holidays!