Previously on ... UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: Oh, not much. Only one survivor died. Relax, it was just for 14 seconds. It rained and rained and apparently everyone got pizza, just like Little League. But with both tribes thinking they had to vote someone out and the elimination cancelled, each is left with strategic blue balls.
Still night 15 at Galu, on what is, I am fairly certain, the island from LOST, and the men, without protection from their elderly, soft-spoken leader, begin to assess their situation, should there be a vote. By jove, it looks like someone's going to play Survivor soon! They plan to bring Shambo into the fold, and there, in the dead of night, the Bros Before Hoes Alliance is forged.
Day 16 Foa Foa: Jaison awakes with a spring in his step. Everyone seems upbeat that Dread Russell is out and I have no idea why. Over at Galu, the Bros Before Hoes Alliance decides to elect Shambo as the new leader. They have an impromptu Iraqi election and the girls are left wondering what the hell just happened. One of Monica's brain neurons accidentally fires a synapse off, leading to her wondering if she would have been voted off next now that Shambo's stock is apparently running so high. After Danger Dave calls Shambo dim, I can't wait for the chicken to escape on the Bros Before Hoes.
Reward Challenge Time! Oh, gnome huts! Aww, it's just a matching game. The items are survival items; tools and such. Leaders have the option to take items they match back with them to the camp, but they won't score a point, and points are good. The winning tribe sends one of their 'mates away and chooses T-Pain to go on a boat.
Laura scores the first match for Galu, a fire-making kit but keeps it instead of taking the point. Liz reveals mosquito nets for Brett (who?) for Galu to get another match. Rocket Scientist John pairs up the cleavers, Evil Russell pairs up some string to get his team on the board, but Laura matches rope and Galu takes a 3 to 1 lead. Then it goes into hyper mode and the score becomes 6 to 3 with only three matches remaining, Galu leading. Natalie matches up to get them to 4. But Monica, finally finding something she is good at, walks from one gnome hut to another, revealing the final match. Suddenly, roles are reversed and Shambo is the one sending Laura to Foa Foa. Kelly thinks she's acting like some kind of trailer park princess. Foa Foa loses again and all they get is Laura.
Laura greets Foa Foa and my gawd is her voice annoying. Evil Russell pushes all the right buttons and a cross-tribal secret alliance seed is planted. His father's a preacher, she's a theology student, he knows a good Christian when he sees; it's too easy for him.
Galu has their food on the boat. Not much happened. Monica and Shambo had a small moment. I think they'd make a fun couple.
Don't you just hate it when the Spiritual Book of the Month Club convenes behind you when you're trying to make a fire? Liz sure does. Natalie and Laura are chatting it up while Liz is trying to inhale mass amounts of smoke from the fire she's trying to build. The nerve!
Immunity Challenge Time! It's the ol' Swim-Out-to-Get-Some-Puzzle-Pieces-For-Your-Other-Tribemates-to-Assemble challenge. Haven't we seen this one already this season? Did you notice when Jeff says "losers" he looks at Foa Foa? Mick, forgetting he was leader, forgot to bring his necklace, but he covers it up by saying it's bad luck. Bonus points for using tribal superstitions in your excuse.
Foa Foa gets a lead with the boat, and Liz starts snagging puzzle pieces like crazy and they are soon off. Dave tells Shambo to shut up as they snag up their remaining pieces to chase Foa Foa. Galu is able to make up ground water by actually paddling their boat instead of swimming with it. Foa Foa gets back to the beach first, but Jaison is lagging behind. Each tribe fumbles with their puzzle pieces and Liz, looking like the only Foa Foa member with a clue, figures out the pattern. But everyone else hasn't drooled on all puzzle pieces yet and Galu is able to overtake them yet again. Evil Russell tells us they're all idiots and they're going to cost him a million dollars. He even noticed Jaison giving up, which gives him a good edge to get him voted out.
Evil Russell getting stir crazy over wanting to vote out Liz, but being unable to, pleases me. The whole tribe wants an answer to why they're losing, and that answer certainly isn't voting another person out. But it must be done, and Evil Russell is so disgusted by Jaison, he even tells Liz about voting him out. Liz is excited by her new chance now that someone else has stumbled out of favor and Evil Russell is left to decide who he's voting out; the one who performs best in challenges or Trusty Rusty.
The Foa Foa Five arrive alive at Tribal Council. Jeff says there's no need to go over the facts, this is one of the worst tribes in the history of the game. I agree, and he didn't even factor in how they all got played by Evil Russell. And yet they cling to hope, and because they are so few in number, they've bonded. Liz trusts everyone 100%, Mick, too. Evil Russell can't wait to get to the merge to cause more damage. Jeff picks on Jaison for hanging his head, and he takes responsibility for his poor showing in the challenge.
Liz votes for Jaison because she has to, and vice versa. But the next two read Liz and her torch is extinguished. It was the way it had to be.
Next week? It's the freakin' Merge! Finally, the show starts! And you thought you were having fun when people were suffering from heart failure!