Uncommon Survivor: Nicaragua - Week 5

Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: The old folks are in disarray since losing their awesome leader, head coach Jimmy Johnson a.k.a. Best Jimmy. The whole while, Jimmy T. a.k.a. Worst Jimmy has been clamoring to take the reins. Unfortunately for him, he talked his way right off the tribe. Let us all take a moment of silence to remember Worst Jimmy, for it is he who hath called another tribe-mate, "a preppy little bitch" and then cried at the next tribal council when everyone toldeth him they didn't liketh him; and not just as a Survivor, as a person. 

I had to agree to some new terms to write this. They told me to avoid swear words in posts. Thanks a lot, Worst Jimmy... getting me in trouble. 

Right after the vote, Holly was caught off-guard by Worst Jimmy's elimination, meaning she's on the outs. I've said this before, but every week, it's the same thing; Holly scares me. She's got that crazed look in her eye like she knows where the machete is and if she doesn't get to her happy place it's going to be Survivor: The Most Dangerous Game. The next morning, Marty is sitting back surveying his Jimmy-free lands. Life is good for him, he's plotting a few days in advance and already gearing for the second half game. 

The next morning, NaOnka gives her assessment of the youngling's situation. She says if she looks good, she feels good. No wonder she's such a miserable person.

Challenge Time! Triangles of death! Nevermind, it's Plinko... right after we mix some tribes up! The group draws rocks from a traditional Nicaraguan tribal division bag. Brenda gets to adopt three new grandparents and Holly gets to pick four children. Jane, Jill, and Marty go to the younglings for Alina, Benry, Chase, and NaOnka. Now it's yellow versus its arch nemesis blue.

Back to the game, the goal: roll ball up, send down Plinko course, catch ball or other team gets point. Winner gets chickens and a rooster. First the ball bounces left, then right, then - tell you what, no play-by-play. The scoring goes back and forth as Marty does some backwards somersaults and eventually loses the match. 

The blues head home with their chickens and begin getting to know each other. Tyrone jumps into the vacant leadership position explaining to everyone the basic ground rules for the camp. NaOnka seems to think this means Tyrone thinks he is a gangster, because gangsters are always telling her to be organized and wash dishes after using them. Holly immediately adopts the children as her own. She walks with Alina and NaOnka down the beach a ways before telling them they should be an alliance. Now NaOnka has to tuck away her claws and cling to any numbers she has, and that includes siding with former rival Alina. 

Over at team yellow, the apparent lack of organization has the adults worried. Fabio is excited that NaOnka's gone, even though his socks went with her. Jane tries to warn some of them about Marty and Jill's alliance. Fabio tells Marty about the shoving of Kelly Leg and Marty is struck by disbelief. When everyone gathers around, he asks them why they let that fly and he's met with shrugs and downward glances. Then he confesses that he has an immunity idol, fearing that Jane would tell everyone first, and hangs it proudly in the camp. Brenda already hates him.

The next day at Camp Blue, driving wind and rain have the tribe trying to resuscitate the fire as NaOnka sits bundled up in the shelter. She's miserable. She even starts to cry. My heart leaps when she mentions quitting. Alina consoles her and makes it seem genuine while telling us NaOnka is like a high school girl. This act of NaOnka's eventually draws Chase over and he consoles her with a story about the day his dad died. Now, you being afraid of the rain because it's colder than you were in the "'hood" or "ghetto" of Iowa makes you sound like a child. Later that night, she wakes up and puts her face into a bag, saying aloud that she just wants to go home. Be still, my beating heart, she's probably faking.

Immunity Challenge Time! Jeff asks the traded survivors how they like their new camps. Jane loved being dry and Alina bonded with her tribe by being wet. Schwing. The challenge: Guantanamo Ski Ball. Spin the Wheel of Waterboarding, spit, don't swallow, the unsanitary mouth water into a tube that releases a ball and play ancient Nicaraguan ski ball, the kind with tiles and no tickets. The prize? YOUR LIFE. 

The challenge starts and blue is spinning their Wheel of Waterboarding at a slow, steady rate, letting them maximize their near drowning experience, but also spit more water into the tube up top. This gives them a lead that allows their ball to be released first. Tyrone takes it and breaks a tile before yellow has saved up enough Kellies & Brenda spit. Brenda is almost drowned as the attention switches to the ski ball section. Blue's lead disappears as yellow quickly answers with a score of their own. They each score another to tie it at two. Fabio and Jane each nail one for yellow to give them a quick lead with one tile left, but Benry answers back knocking out two in a row. It's not enough, as Fabio sinks his shot and wins immunity for the yellows. NaOnka's parting words excite me further. She thinks she's done after this loss. 

Alina wants to eat before Tribal Council so the group decides to kill a chicken. Tyrone is the only opponent of this plan because he likes eggs way more than chicken. The group votes him down and kills a chicken. They clean it and boil it while Tyrone sits away from everyone. The group digs in when it's done with Tyrone sitting a little closer to the action now, telling them to have at it, but be mindful of their neighbor. Next he's eating a whole thigh and gnawing at a breast bone. Everyone else notices he's taken a larger share. It's enough to annoy the others into considering getting rid of him instead of NaOnka. See, heart? This is why I told you to be still.

Tribal Council Time! Jeff Probsts around and quickly, Alina's testimony of the first day at the new camp exposes a conflict between the newcomers and Tyrone. He explains it away, chalking it up to the generation gap before the topic changes to NaOnka's hard night. She says it was worse than her divorce, but better because she had her tribe-mates with her. Jeff's mind is blown. Jeff wants to know if seeing her struggle makes him want to vote her out. Benry pleads ignorance but Yve answers, saying that she has to see longevity to establish trust in a teammate. Jeff asks NaOnka if she had the presence of mind to be aware that her breakdown is a white (or red) flag. She answers by saying that tribal council is crazy, maybe some people are "keeping it real" and others are smart and know when to shut up. The rest of the tribe looks as confused as I am about that answer. 

Voting begins: Tyrone keeps it one hundred, he votes Na. Benry votes Tyrone and knocks over the paper weight trying to fold his ballot. Smooth. Jeff reads the votes: One for NaOnka, two for Tyrone. NaOnka gets one more and the rest are a clean sweep. Tyrone is eliminated. At least he got the chicken he didn't want. Jeff calls it a blindside. Was it, really?

via www.cbs.com

Next week: Now Dan wants to quit and Marty is a grand master of chess. Also, another twist.