clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Everything Should Be Cross

via <a href=""></a>

Snowboard Cross, Ski Cross, New Super Mario Bros. Wii; if these things have taught us anything, it's that anything can be enhanced by adding at least three more simultaneous competitors. Christianity has got the right idea, putting crosses everywhere and in everything for thousands of years. I decided to see if adding cross to the events will improve the other Winter Olympic events as well. 

  • Alpine Ski Cross: You bet
  • Biathlon Cross: This event is already jam-packed with simultaneous competitors, but maybe if they each fired a quad rifle at something, that would be interesting. 
  • Bobsleigh Cross: Wider courses, four sleighs at once. Do it. 
  • Cross Country Ski Cross: This already has a cross and multiple competitors; but it could still use some improvement. I'm looking for ideas on this one.
  • Curling Cross: This one is difficult but I think I solved it. Four starting points, or hacks, and one house. Crazy, right?
  • Figure Skating Cross: Dire need.
  • Freestyle Ski Cross: Check.
  • Ice Hockey Cross: Already multiple competitors, but four pucks might mix things up a bit. 
  • Luge Cross: See Bobsleigh.
  • Nordic Combined Cross: Four skiers, four jumps. Seems easy, then add whatever we decide about Cross County Skiing.
  • Short Track Cross: Already four competitors, but could use some jumps.
  • Skeleton Cross: See Luge.
  • Speed Skating Cross: May as well go with eight skaters, they have a lot of room on that track.