Uncommon Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Week 5

Last time on ... UNCOMMON SURVIVOR; Coach cried because nobody liked him, Sears sponsored my favorite challenge to date, and Immunity Idol clues were discovered. One tempted Russell into danger with the Villains, while the other led to a discovery by Tom, who played it to help blindside Cirie. I like how blindside has become an official term, like, "grand slam," and, "hat trick."

Back in Herotown, fresh off the vote, J.T. is in PR-spin mode, telling everyone he did what he had to, for everyone else, the Merge is coming and she's not loyal after that. Rupert mad. Rupert very mad. The next morning, J.T. tries to regain Amanda's trust, but she's paranoid. She thinks he's made twenty alliances. That's not even possible, silly Amanda. 

The Villains greet the morning with some patent-pending Dragon Slayer Chi. Everyone starts to snicker when he begins to chant, as if that's the most ridiculous thing going on at the moment.

While everyone stands around Coach in a circle, feeding him the attention he needs to survive, Russell is off looking for the Idol. He appears perplexed as he stands in a hole that he apparently dug. Sitting on the root of the tree, that's in the middle of this big hole he's dug, was the Idol. Russell picks it up, and here we go again.

Reward Challenge Time! It's The Octagon! Fight for coconuts in the bottom, pass to your shooters, two shots win. No kicking the crap out of dudes like Ben did the first time they did this challenge. Winners get a chocolate feast. Jeff has some samples for everyone, and Colby and the Heroes turn their noses up at it.

Jeff asks why this is, and Colby snaps back that he's ready to start the challenge. Jeff tells him that the Challenge starts when he's ready. Rupert says it's because they're focused, they don't care about the reward, only winning, but Russell replies that the Villains are always focused, that's why they win, which earns him a stare from Rupert.

The Villains sit Parvati, Sandra, and Courtney, while the Heroes sit Colby. So much for focus and impatience to start the challenge. Next time, Colby, shut up and eat your candy. The match begins and the Heroes end up with all the coconuts. They make a few misses before James stumbles on a rebound and is slow to get up.

When he does rise, he limps a couple steps and drops back down. Jeff calls for the medic. They look at James' leg, then he gets up to try to walk. He starts to walk normally, says he's fine, before you see pain shoot through him. Even Jeff winces. The medic lady pulls James from the challenge, and Jeff doesn't allow them to sub in Colby. The match begins again, and quickly Tom grabs two coconuts and tosses them back, while Russell gets the other. Each team misses one before Amanda sinks a point. They switch places next round, shooters in the pit, pitters in the shoot. Say that five times fast. The round starts and J.T. takes out jbox's fave (Boston Rob) with a leg tackle. The Heroes get two coconuts, but both miss. Tyson shoots and misses and the rebound falls to the ground where J.T. gets to it first, and is then carried over to the Villains' side by jbox's fave, who slams him into the wall. Russell reaches down to try and help, but the coconut is slipped out to Rupert, and Russell falls off the platform, who climbs back up.

Both sides miss a few shots. J.T. starts assaulting Coach, picking him up and dropping him on his head.

Tyson sinks a shot just as the camera catches Rupert swinging Jerri's face into a post, then yells at her that he didn't mean to do that.

You should have eaten the chocolate, Rupert. Now it's haunting you. Jerri gets up and shakes it off with a, "whatever dude," and gets ready for the next round. She's like three times the man Coach is! The final round starts, Russell grabs two coconuts for the Villains, both shots miss. After several more misses, J.T. switches to defense, using his coconut to block jbox's fave's shot. Jbox's fave answers right back with a blocked shot. J.T. takes another shot that bounces in and out, but Jerri, her focus renewed by the earlier blow to the face, fires a perfect spiral that drops right in, sealing victory for the Villains. The Villains leave right away, and the Heroes sulk home, except for James, who has to stay and get checked; the plan being to put him in a splint and see if he can walk. 

The Villains enjoy their chocolate feast and swim in a special cove. Everyone but Russell and Parvati talk loudly under an echoing rock formation about their assumption that Russell has the hidden Idol. Meanwhile, Russell's telling Parvati about the idol, and telling her he needs someone to help him work it. His plan is to turn Coach against jbox's fave. Russell takes Coach aside and floors him with knowledge of the idol. Coach is all about trust, and, "it's almost impossible for [him] to betray that trust." Then he kneels before him and Russell grants him knighthood. LARPing confirmed. 

Over at Herotown, Amanda is sobbing because they lost the challenge, the reward was chocolate, and, oh yeah, James' knee. Applause to the editing crew who put J.T.'s, "I don't think James is comin' back," right after Amanda's, "I really hope I see him walk down the beach." Tom tells us he has his differences with James, and he doesn't want to root against him, but he'll do it silently anyway. It's Tom who spots James coming back first. Amanda runs out to him and hugs him.

Everyone else greets him after. He says they don't know what's wrong with it, but that's because he needs an MRI, and to get one, he'd have to leave. So now he's going to lay around camp a couple days and let everyone take care of him. 

Immunity Challenge Time! Blind-folded Pairs Puzzle Retrieval and Assembly! Jerri calls the shots for the Villains and James calls for the Heroes. The challenge begins and all the Heroes walk into obstacles. Coach gets to a piece. Jbox's fave helps J.T. with a piece before Jerri calls him off it. Both tribes get three pieces back and return. There's a lot of stumbling and collisions. Jbox's fave runs right into a pair of Heroes carrying a piece. J.T. and Amanda lose each other, and the Villains get a piece ahead. James yells for everybody to shut up and stop. The Villains stay a piece ahead until the Heroes catch up to them at eight, then nine. With just a piece left for each, Rupert and Candice stumble over the piece and bring it in, crashing into Tom. They remove their blindfolds and start assembling. The Villains are still getting their last piece in, and don't get back until it looks like the Heroes are half done with theirs. But like magic, the Heroes immediately stop making any progress and the Villains make up all the time, finally completing their puzzle, winning yet another Tribal Immunity. 

The Heroes pout back at camp. Tom and Colby think the consensus is to vote for James, but Rupert tells J.T. they're getting rid of Tom. Candice thinks this is stupid. James hobbles over. Amanda meets with Rupert, who tells her that Candice was pushing for James to be gone, and she's probably the weakest. J.T. and Candice think the logical choice is to get rid of James. Then he swears to Rupert that he's voting for Tom, that they're together. Maybe he just means there, on the beach together, not voting together, because he's playing both sides against each other. 

Tribal Council Time! The big topic of discussion, of course, is James' knee. After James tries to blame Tom and Candice for talking too much during challenges and making them lose, Tom says it like it is, that anyone who wants James around is only doing it for his vote, not because he can compete. James seems to believe he can still outperform anyone, and tells everyone to vote for him if they don't think he can do it. With that, the voting starts.

Tom votes for James, adding, "All mass, no class," before dropping in his ballot. James, in turn, votes for Tom. Jeff eads two votes for Tom, then two for James. The next is Tom, and one more reads his name, sealing his fate. That was the dumbest vote ever. These are the worst Heroes ever.

Next time, it will be two weeks from now because March Madness has to come in and ruin everything. But when Survivor does return, Russell and jbox's fave threaten each other in the dark! See you then!