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Uncommon Survivor 23 - Week 8: Espion Double

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Previously on UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: Ozzy bet the farm on the Merge coming next and being able to beat Christine at Elimination. Let's watch it pan out!

With the week in Common Sports I've had, I'm glad to be here on the Uncommon side, where nobody is from where I am, and people don't associate me with the competitors.  

Everyone's giving Cochran crap for letting Ozzy go through with this sacrifice. Amazing, he just can't win. He should have stepped up and walked off the tribe. Left with nothing except their hatred for him, Suvaii decides to just play it like it is and "pretend" Cochran's the villain. 

Ozzy spins his story to Christine that Cochran played an idol when everyone voted for him. At least Ozzy recognizes that this is either the stupidest or ballsiest thing he could do, I'd hate to have to feel bad about picking on the guy if he had serious screws loose. You know, like Brandon. 

Redemption Island Time! Wow, both tribes are here... wonder what that's about. Nobody at Upolu buys Ozzy's dramatic performance. That's gotta hurt; didn't fool anyone and you might be eliminated now. Plan on the brink of failure. The challenge? It's the old Pirates of the Caribbean game! Ozzy uses a reinforced stick method that crushes Christine's obvious inexperience with sticks. She tries working the pole until it goes limp. Ozzy wins, gets to rejoin the tribe, and Merges; it all worked out!

Post-Merge Feast! Hey dudes, let's all picnic and eye each other like a bunch of friendly gunslingers, ones who chit-chat first and ask questions later. Coach and Cochran sit together and Coach lays out every card he thinks Cochran has. He's eerily accurate, but he veers wildly off course when he makes it about knowing what it's like to be ostracized for being smarter and better than everyone. The worst part? Cochran buys it all, every last bit. What a little turncoat. He spills every single one of the beans, and it's because they all treated him like a nerd. He can't resist the power! 

"Merged Tribe" - that has a certain ring to it. Dawn has a guilty conscience for not sticking up for the bullied Cochran. The game has broken her. She's risking her shot at the million dollars. And for what? Something she believes in? Don't worry everyone, this is normal Survivor delirium. Watch her pain. Don't look away. I'll know if you looked away. 

Double Immunity Challenge! The new tribe name is Taytuna. Not terrible, right? Coconut-holding Endurance Challenge! All the men and women enter, one man and one woman leave. Edna and Cochran blow it early. The women concede victory to Dawn, probably some kind of mother hen power she has over them. Coach, Rick, Jim, and Keith drop out, then Keith rages on his tile. He looks like Sad Keanu. The final round: Albert, Brandon, and Ozzy flex their biceps and get all manly. Jeff talks about how hot it is and Brandon loses his composure, dropping his nut. Albert, remembering Ozzy's ballsiness, perhaps, flinches and drops his coconut, too. Ozzy and Dawn walk away with the pretty/hideous necklaces.

The plan for both sides is to go into Tribal Council in a dead-lock with their six sets of antlers locked together like two horny male elk. And like those elk, they'll be drawing smooth stones in the event of a tie. So much for that, though, Cochran goes and blows all the information to Sophie without getting any information back, then she calls him a Dodgeball Target. She's got Uncommon Sports knowledge; jbox, can we hire her? Dawn is unwilling to flip her vote with Cochran and they have a heated, yet intelligent discussion. Kinda weird to hear people communicate their difference like adults, right? 

Tribal Council Time!  Everyone's saying it's going to be horny elk, six on six. Ozzy gets called out for his over-the-top insulting performance by Sophie. She can work here, right, Dex? He admits he.. no... they have the idol. It's on!

Voting Time! Jeff calls for idols and Ozzy stands up. The Upolus' faces drop. Then Ozzy says it's for Whitney, and they all smile. Wrong one, stupid heads. The votes roll in for Keith and Rick; six and six; all elked up. 

REVOTE! Cochran and Dawn exchange a glance. WHAT COULD IT MEAN!? TENSION. BREATHING. 

Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick... Keith! Cochran swapped and admits it to Ozzy and Jim right then. Jim calls him a coward. Twice. Brandon tells Jim to shut up, that's his bitch now. It's gotta sting worse that Jeff calls that the biggest move in the game so far. Ozzy must be crushed. 


"Nobody misses me cuz I really was a jerk." via


Next time! Cochran gets viciously berated by his former tribe and Ozzy wishes on a rainbow.